Pricing
Pick your tier of nonsense.
Every tier ships with a parody disclaimer. Premium and above ship with QR verification and a registry slot.
Free Preview
$0
See what you're missing.
- Watermarked certificate
- Limited templates
- Default seal only
- No QR verification
- No high-quality PDF
Basic
$4.99
Make it official.
- High-quality PDF
- Custom recipient & issuer
- Your certificate title & reason
- One standard seal
- Certificate ID
Premium
$9.99
The full bureaucratic experience.
- Everything in Basic
- QR verification page
- Premium seal & stamp pack
- Custom roast generator
- Tone / intensity selector
- Optional registry listing
Upgrade to Premium to unlock QR verification, official seal packs and a custom roast paragraph.
Deluxe
$14.99
Build the full case file.
- Everything in Premium
- The Full Fuckery File evidence pack
- Appeal-denied page
- Recipient photo / mugshot
- Up to three seals
- Premium template styles
Turn one certificate into a full case file with evidence documents, mugshot mode and a denied appeal page.
Group Pack
from $24.99
Certify the whole group chat.
- 5–10 certificates
- Batch name entry
- Group issuer name
- Matching visual style
- Optional group registry page
Deluxe bundle
The Full Fuckery File
Includes certificate, official warning, risk assessment, incident report and denied appeal notice.
- Main Certificate
- Official Warning Notice
- Behavioural Risk Assessment
- Incident Report
- Witness Statement
- Final Notice Before Further Fuckery
- Case File Summary
- Appeal Rejection Letter
Group Pack examples
Certify the whole group chat
Group Chat Pack
Most Likely to Start Drama · Worst Takes Award · Certified Screenshot Leaker · Slowest Replier · Main Character Certificate · Biggest Fuckhead
Office Pack
Reply-All Offender · Meeting That Could've Been an Email Award · Most Likely to Say "Circle Back" · Spreadsheet Goblin · Certified Calendar Menace
Fantasy League Pack
Wooden Spoon Champion · Draft Disaster · Trade Deadline Clown · Bench Points Merchant · Biggest Fumble of the Season
Physical add-ons
Make it real-world embarrassing.
Printed Certificate
$19.99
Heavyweight premium paper.
Available at checkout
Fake Official Envelope
$24.99
Manila, stamped, mildly alarming.
Available at checkout
Laminated ID Card
$29.99
Pocket-sized proof of nonsense.
Available at checkout
Framed Certificate
$49.99
Wall-mountable shame.
Available at checkout